Friday, June 26, 2009

Max ... on shedding: an act of defiance or self-preservation?

The "feels like" temperature was 102 degrees at the beginning of the week. Yesterday, it was "feels like" 98 degrees, I think. I swear it's been so hot, I'm forgetting the numbers. Who invented this "feels like" lingo anyway? I think anything over 90 "feels like" 102, so what's the diff?

To the question at hand, I say that shedding is definitely an act of self-preservation in this weather. I've been trying to reduce my coat to a livable level. Hey, Mother Nature, you do know that us kitties don't sweat? Well, so the fur doesn't go with the extreme heat, so tone it down a bit okay?

Her Highness pets me and gets a handful of fur. I walk across the room and this wonderful cloud of flying fur follows me, and I sit on the couch and it ends up with a fur shadow of me. I've even taken to sleeping in the bathtub and when I get tired of that I move to the tile floor of the shower in the other bathroom. I'll persevere, but I must tell you that I'll continue to shed until the heat breaks. What else is a guy to do?


Monday, June 22, 2009

The Great Noodles to Debut Advice Column in July

Listen up Critters. Help is on the way. The Great Noodles has consented to advise you on your problems, answer your many questions and sympathize and empathize, but never patronize.

In his own words, he will cover topics "...from pooping to dating, kibble to napping, you name it I've got advice for it. Email me your questions at: "

Also, if you can, send along a photo of yourself with your question (if you wish to remain un-named let Noodles know and he'll blur your identity). What more could you ask for? Noodles is gearing up to answer all your questions. He's already received some. So send your questions to him at

Friday, June 19, 2009

Laps----a poem by max...


so many laps, so little time

a nap, a sigh. my joy

soars when i see outstretched legs--

thick enough to support all of me,

and welcoming enough to support my day


Sunday, June 14, 2009

Max... on Thinking Outside the Box

When speaking in terms of creativity, thinking outside the box is a good thing. It can help you write better, help you paint better, draw better, or even invent a more fantastic thing-a-ma-jig. Make a habit of brainstorming and pushing yourself a bit beyond your limits. It'll give you a chance to see what you can do.

HOWEVER... a word of warning to my feline friends... for kitties, most things outside the box are not good. My tip for the day is: if you are a kitty, stay inside the box and your humans will think you're a genius. For everyone else: Go For It!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Scoop: An In-Depth Interview with The Great Noodles and Lindsey

....this is the transcript of the live interview Max recorded earlier today with those great felines, Noodles and Lindsey. They are on the cusp of their writing debut.

Max: I'm pleased to be sitting here with my good friend Noodles (known to many of you as The Great Noodles) and his sister, Lindsey. They will be guest authors on from time to time. Thought it'd be a good idea for you to get to know a little about them first. So, I've called them into my studio for an interview. Here we go...
Question: So, Noodles, let's start with you. How did you get interested in writing and commenting on life?

The Great Noodles

Noodles: My opinion is so important, especially to me. I’ve always been very vocal even from kittenhood and now I finally have a chance to really get my message out there… to the world you know?
Question: And, Lindsey, how about you... Have you always been interested in writing and sharing your opinions with others?

Lindsey contemplating her answer

Lindsey: Not really. My interests are more in finding things to torment. I really like to drown lizards in my water dish… that’ more what I’m into, but I’ll share my opinion when necessary (usually when I’m hungry).

Max: Okay... I find that quite disturbing on so many levels....

Question: Let's see... This question's for both of you. Since you're brother and sister, do you have rivalries or do you get along all the time?

Lindsey: ALL the time, firstly, Noodles thinks he owns the humans and that he can sit on their laps at his leisure. Sure, I don’t sit on laps, I hate laps, but he doesn’t have to rub it in my face. I do get to sit with them now and then, but I set BETWEEN them where I have some room to get comfortable. If Noodles comes by, I bite his tail or swat it. I hate that everyone’s afraid to pet me and they just ADORE Noodles (if they knew the half of it I swear…), but I also hate when people pet me. I’m complicated

Noodles: Lindsey doesn’t bug me much. Sometimes I have to put her in her place with a good smother move. Or I’ll get her in some kind of upside down bear hug and man do her claws hurt! Most of the time I just chase her up on the counter and then go looking for the humans so they’ll lock her up in the bathroom for time out. No one’s allowed on the counters.

Max: Okay, let's let our audience get to know some of your likes and dislikes a little better...

Question: Favorite food?

Noodles: Kibble all the way! Other food is confusing! I’m also obsessed with anything in a crinkly bag… I MUST KNOW what’s in the bag. Sadly, it is VERY rarely kibble.

Lindsey: RAW CHICKEN BONES-if I can get ‘em out of the trash. My humans like Buffalo wings. I really like to crunch ‘em up and leave little bits and pieces all over the carpet.

Question: Nap position?
Noodles: Comfortably airing out my belly and crotch for all to enjoy.
Lindsey: On my back like a sea otter or Dracula. Here I'll show you...

Lindsey demonstrating napping position

Question: Napping spot?

Noodles: Behind the man human’s laptop (mmm heat), in a sunbeam, on the woman human’s pj’s, or the middle of the living room floor.

Lindsey: I like to stick to my spots till the carpet gets a little “gray” looking and then I move on… right now? Next to the scratching post. I have almost made a perfect “hair nest” there, so I’ll soon find a new place to soil with my awesomeness.

Question: Favorite books?

Noodles: Health magazine… I just LOVE the glue they use to bind the pages. I cannot get enough and would rub my face on that magazine ALL DAY LONG if I could get away with it.

Lindsey: Huh? You mean hobo blankets? I like to snooze under them, not read them.

Question: Music?

Noodles: The man human is into some pretty mellow stuff… it pumps out of the speakers next to the laptop. So I’d say ambient techno… right? Is that right?

Noodles behind the laptop... his favorite spot to listen to tunes

Lindsey: I don’t care what music I hear so long as it isn’t whistling! I HATE the sound of whistling!

Question: Favorite TV star?

Noodles: What’s TV again? I like to watch the walls, the ceiling, and occasionally the back side of the couch.

Lindsey: I like independent films… so maybe Posey Parker… is that her name? That movie Dog Show was pretty funny.

Question: As our final question let's dig a little deeper. I know you two are pretty committed fellows with many interesting cattitudes. So, what is your mission in life?

Noodles: Be awesome and meet many wonderful women who will coo at me and scratch my ears endlessly. I’m a charmer.

Lindsey: Eat! Always EAT!!!! I Love me the food… I don’t care what it is I just want it now!

Max: On that note, I want to thank both of you for taking time for the interview.

Noodles: Welcome, Max. We're glad to do it, aren't we Lindsey?

Lindsey: Yeah, right.... chicken bones.... we were promised chicken bones, weren't we?

Max: ....anyhooooooo.... Thanks so much for the wonderful interview and we'll look forward to pieces when you write for

Thanks to all of you critters out there for tuning in to The Scoop.... Have a great day.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Max...on Hello and Good-bye

I took a friend to the airport this morning. It was just a drive-by affair -- you know, slow down and shove her out under the airline of her choice.

That's how airports are these days. No more, standing at the gate and savoring those last few laughs with a buddy or gazing into a sweet, fancy feline's eyes for a few extra minutes. Nope. If you're not traveling, you're not allowed anywhere near the plane.

I guess that's wise, but slowly we are losing all those old "hello" and "good-bye" traditions. Let's fight back and not let life become too "imcatal" (that's the feline version of "impersonal"). Let's keep it real. Start some new "hello" and "good-bye" traditions that don't involve airport security.

Have a great day. Birds fly.... maybe cats should just stay on the ground.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Katku #1

sun puddle on floor

pounce on it for noon fun

curl up, snooze and snore...

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Friday, June 5, 2009

Max...on Her Highness

Her Highness is the affectionate name I call my human. For a while, like most cats and dogs, I called her my owner. But some time ago, I liberated myself from that term and all its connotations.

As I was searching for another term, I hit on Her Highness. It's not a sarcastic pseudonym nor one of disrespect. Instead, I realized that she thinks she's in charge around here. In honor of that misconception I thought she should have a fitting title. Her Highness seemed perfect since she's the "figure head" of the household.

Get it? She's the queen and I'm the prime minister. If you doubt that, just take a look at who is emptying the litter? Yes, enough said.

Her Highness is a wonderful queen. She's sees to everything, and I make the decision of what we will and won't do for the most part. It's a great arrangement and I hope some of you critters have one as good as mine.

Here's to Her Highness...!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

No writing today...Just cleaning.

I'm cleaning the office... such a big job....

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Feline Friendly Website of the Month

Boys and girls, humans and critters. A website caught my eye this month and I just keep punching the "favorites" button to return to it.

It deserves 4 1/2 out of 5 paws on The Max Rating Scale. The website of the month for June 2009 is moderncat. You'll find it at

It has it all.... a great look. Daily additions to its blog. But the winning element is that it shows products that will make all our lives more elegant. And you gotta remember that I'm nothing if not elegant.

And... it has giveaways. Don't forget about those. I'm sending my human over to sign up for those today. The Asian-style raised feeder that was the May giveaway is a work of art. I could really chow down with that thing...

It has ideas of the coolest moderncat gear.... Check it out. Yes 4 1/2 paws... a well-deserved rating.