Monday, September 7, 2009

Max on... Care and Training of Your Food Human -- Bedroom Access

"How to Train Your Food Human to Make Room for You on the Bed"
If your fondest desire is to snuggle down each night with your food human, here are some tips to help you achieve that goal:

Make it into the room

First you must make it into the bedroom. Many times food humans shut their kitties out of the bedroom at night due to their pesky behaviors, such as attacking feet during the night, pouncing on stomachs, and sleeping on faces. Once you're out critter pals, it's a difficult but not impossible task to get back in. Try some of these tactics:

1. Show that you'll be a good nighttime companion. If you are shut out, request entrance quietly. A soft mournful meow or two from outside the door just might do the trick.

2. Another tactic is to work on the sympathy vote. Park yourself right outside the closed door -- even better sleep plastered up against it -- so when your human opens the door in the morning you will fall into the room. This will show your devotion to your food human. One morning, you just might hear, "He's been such a good kittie all these nights, I think I'll give him a trial back in the bedroom tonight."

3. If nice tactics don't work, get a running start and hurl yourself repeatedly against the door. When your human opens the door, scoot in and quickly scurry under the bed or dresser just out of reach. Stay there until things settle down for the night.

Once your in, how to train your human how to allow you, in all your cat glory, to stay in:

1. Each night when your human lets you in, quickly find a spot at the end of the bed and out of the way. Curl up and go to sleep. Despite your urge to pawty all night, this is your only opportunity to prove to your human that your being in the room will be no trouble. Restrain that pawty urge.

2. Inch your way a little closer to your human over a series of nights. Eventually, curl up behind the knees or at the small of the back. Research from the Max Institute for the Research of Human Behavior has shown that humans like a little non-intrusive, warm pressure at those points. It seems to be quite reinforcing to humans. If you handle this right you just might seal the bedroom deal for yourself and ensure that your human invites you in each night.

Don'ts of Nighttime Behavior:

1. Raise a ruckus.

2. Use any part of your human as a scratching post.

3. Howl or groan (purrs are allowed)

4. Run about the room.

Sweet Dreams... feel free to share you comments.


Inigo Flufflebum and d'Artangan Rumblepurr said...

Why would anyone deny us the cuddle on the bed time?? Humans are weird.

Max the Quilt Cat said...

Rumblepurr... and Flufflebum.... great comment. I agree with you completely, but some humans actualy shut their kitties out of the bedroom... I thought it was time to give the kitties some tips on how to overcome that state of affairs.

Thanks for your comment...

hugs, Max

Sir Fudge Esq said...

This was a wonderful article, I never knew there was such a thing as being locked out of a bedroom, or any room for that matter! If someone did that to me there would be hell to pay! Vases smashed, howls raised and doors trashed! Locking cats out indeed, pfft! merde!

Max the Quilt Cat said...

Woo hooo... No need to restrain yourself Fudge. Tell us what you really think. !!!

Good comment.

Thanks, Max

Sheng_Chi said...

I also can't believe that some humats do actually lock their kitties out of the bedroom for the cruel. My best method has always been to go to bed before the humats do and to make myself comfortable in the middle of the bed and being really really cute...even my snoring then doesn't seem to botherz them!